


Love is a Promise

by ThereIsASong



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Post Darillium, Post-Library River Song, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:14:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsASong/pseuds/ThereIsASong
Summary: How can the Doctor convince River that she wants her forever, now that there is no expiration date on their relationship?"River,” the Doctor breathed, trying to catch her breath and focus when River’s lips were still so close. “Are you ok? Are you still frightened? I don’t want you to be scared.” She couldn’t resist pressing small kisses to River’s jawline between words as she spoke.“I can’t tolerate you not knowing how I feel about you. I won’t do it, not anymore.” She pulled away again, meeting River’s eyes.
Relationships: The Doctor/River Song, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	Love is a Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This starts out with a lot of processing/conversation and then sexy times ensue about half way through, just FYI. 
> 
> Comments keep me going, thanks for the feedback/encouragement!

River poked at the blue, gelatinous mound on her plate. It rippled satisfyingly but released an odor that smelled sort of like turnips, a food she wasn’t exactly fond of.

“The blue one’s really good.” The Doctor mumbled, her mouth obviously full. “You should try it.”

River took a hesitant bite and made a face that apparently conveyed her distaste, as the Doctor laughed and scooped it off her wife’s plate, adding it to her own. River quickly popped a bite of the silvery gelatin into her mouth, ridding her tongue of the nasty taste.

It had been about three Earth days since River had broken the Doctor out of prison and the couple had flown the TARDIS into the vortex. River had spent a good amount of the last couple of days sleeping and eating, as the Doctor insisted that they break her new body in gently.

They had spent the time mostly talking, River giving the Doctor a glimpse into what her time had been like inside the library, and the Doctor scratching the surface of her hundreds of years of adventures since she had seen her last, including the things she now knew about the Master, Gallifrey and herself.

During this time they had become reacquainted with each other, and fallen into a familiar pattern of rediscovered intimacy that can only be achieved with decades of companionship.

The food that they were currently eating was a result of their first outing, just to pick up some of the Doctor’s current favorite food that she couldn’t believe River had never tried. Now they were back in the TARDIS and River wasn’t eager to leave it’s confines again any time soon.

She had everything she needed here, she thought. Her home, her wife, even her studies if she chose to continue pursuing them.

It was a new feeling for River, not feeling the urge to go chasing the next adventure, the next shot of adrenaline. To be fair, the last time she had flirted with danger she had quite literally died, torn away from the Doctor, her body, even reality itself.

River realized that the Doctor had been talking, quite animatedly, and tried to tune in to what she was saying.

“…But they thought I was a witch! They actually tried to drown me, which of course they couldn’t manage. But the Fam had a laugh and Ryan ended up having the break the King of England’s heart before…”

Finally noticing that her wife was clearly not following her story, the Doctor interrupted herself, wrinkling her forehead and tilting her head at her wife in concern.

“River,” The Doctor said softly. “What’s wrong?”

River’s eyes scanned her wife’s face, surveyed the soft lips, the adorable nose and wide, concerned eyes. They rested on the line between her brows. She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself.

“Nothing,” She said, trying to sound convincing through a shaky voice. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“River,” The Doctor dropped her spoon to reach out and take her wife’s hand. “Our relationship isn’t like that anymore, you got so good at showing me the damage during our time on Darillium. Don’t close up again.”

River scoffed, rolling her eyes. A bolt of annoyance shot through her.

“I’m not ‘hiding the damage,’” Doctor. She shook her head. “I’ve had so many emotions the last few days. Right now, I think I’m frightened.”

River’s eyes looked up to meet the Doctor’s, searching for reassurance. The Doctor brought her wife’s hand up to her mouth, brushing her lips against it.

“What can I do, River?” The Doctor asked, lips still on her wife’s skin.

“I just…” River sighed. “I need to tell you, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry Doctor.”

The look of pain on River’s face made the Doctor’s heart sink. What was she apologizing for?

“Why River?” The Doctor continued to hold grasp her wife’s hand, confused. “Whatever it is you are forgiven, always and completely.”

At her wife’s words, River winced, and pulled her hand back across the table to her own lap. She looked down at the table.

“That’s why I’m sorry, I mean, I’m not sorry I said that to you.” She took a deep breath and tried again. “I’m sorry that I made you watch. My death.”

The Doctor didn’t know what to say. She had always assumed that there must have been a good reason River had left her with such a painful first impression, searing that image into her mind. But as she thought about it, she realized that there was no fixed point, no chance of a paradox caused by a spoiler, no real reason she had had to see that.

“I can only imagine how difficult it was to go through our relationship having seen that.” River continued, the words flooding out now that she had broken the dam. “I’m sorry I caused you that pain.”

The Doctor didn’t know what to say. The memory had colored every experience with River, despite her attempts of pushing it aside. Every moment of young, unbridled life that she had seen River lead had been held in contrast to the moment when the life was gone from her body, burning in the machine of her own making.

“I tried to tell myself that I did it because I needed you to believe that I was actually gone, so you didn’t spend your whole life trying to somehow get me back.” River continued, her voice almost a whisper. “I tried to tell myself that it was because I wanted you there with me, wanted to die looking into your eyes.”

River’s eyes met the meet the Doctor’s, and she saw the pain of the memory reflected so clearly back to her.

“I did Doctor, I wanted you there, with me until the end. But I love you too much to make you watch me die just for my own comfort.” River took another deep breath, and blinked back tears from her eyes.

“I wanted you to see, to know for sure that I was gone, because I thought that if you didn’t, maybe you would never let yourself love me.” The Doctor frowned, searching River’s eyes for meaning.

“River, I don’t understand.” The Doctor said. River wiped her eyes and began to feel steadier, now that she had spoken her truth.

“You’ve traveled with hundreds of people, but never for long. You don’t let yourself get too close, because you need change in your life. You thrive off adventure and new experiences, and never let yourself get tied down. Not to one person, or planet or even purpose.” River explained.

“I was afraid that if you didn’t know that I was temporary, that if you thought you would have to commit to me for the rest of your life, that you wouldn’t let yourself fall for me, that our timeline would unravel.”

The Doctor couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could River think, even for a second, that the Doctor wouldn’t commit to River fully, forever? How could she not know that the thing she wanted most was to spend the rest of her life with her?

“River,” The Doctor said in a defeated tone. “I thought we had gotten past this during out time on Darillium. I am committed to you, fully, forever. You are not admiring a sunset. I am not a monolith. You are the most important thing to me in the universe.” Her voice shook, upset that River still could not understand.

“Why can’t you believe me?” The Doctor asked.

“I did, I believed you, Sweetie.” River picked a loose thread in her shirt, unsure of what to do with herself. “But then when you were there, and I realized that all of the time we spent together you knew I would die, it just all came rushing back. You never actually committed to me long-term. You knew there wasn’t going to be one.”

The Doctor pushed her chair back, unable to sit still anymore. She paced back and forth. She was angry, but not at River. It was her job to make River feel loved and wanted. She thought she had done a better job of it in her last body, but that must have not made up for the stupidity she had displayed in her younger days.

The Doctor walked around behind River, leaning down to wrap her arms around her wife from behind the chair.

“There is nothing to forgive, River.” The Doctor’s words were muffled in River’s hair, where the Doctor’s face rested. “I’m sorry for the things that I did that made you feel like I wouldn’t pick you, fall for you, again and again, no matter the circumstances.”

The Doctor felt the tension drain from River’s body, relieved at being forgiven. She stood and pulled Rivers chair out, kneeling in front of her. She took River’s hands and looked up at her.

“I still don’t understand though, Dear. Why are you frightened?” She said. The earnest love in her eyes made River’s heart swell and break.

River reached up to brush a lock of hair behind the Doctor’s ear and softly caressed her face. The feel of her wife’s touch was still so amazing after all these years, the Doctor couldn’t help but close her eyes just for a second and lean into her palm.

“I’m afraid that now that there’s no firm ending, no expiration date, you won’t be able to do this anymore. You don’t exactly like opening yourself to the unknown.”

The Doctor shook her head, searching for the words that River needed to hear.

“I never want to be without you again, River.” The Doctor said. “I want you here, in my TARDIS, in _our_ TARDIS, for the rest of your life. For the rest of time. I’ve had hundreds of years to think about it and that’s not going to change, not ever.”

River felt herself nearly double over in relief, unsure what she would do if faced with a future without her wife. She was not a weak person, she was hardly a codependent person, but she somehow needed this mad woman in front of her like she needed air in her lungs.

River pulled the Doctor’s face toward her, leaning in to kiss her gently. She urged her wife up with a hand on her waist and pulled the Doctor down to straddle her lap so she could place her hands on either side of the Doctor’s face and snog her soundly.

The Doctor held River’s shoulders, savoring the feel of her wife, the smell of her perfume, the taste of her on her tongue. She could explore and rediscover River’s exquisite mouth for the rest of her lives.

After a few minutes, the Doctor forced herself to pull back, pulling a small huff of discontent from River’s lips.

“River,” the Doctor breathed, trying to catch her breath and focus when River’s lips were still so close. “Are you ok? Are you still frightened? I don’t want you to be scared.” She couldn’t resist pressing small kisses to River’s jawline between words as she spoke.

“I can’t tolerate you not knowing how I feel about you. I won’t do it, not anymore.” She pulled away again, meeting River’s eyes.

“Yes, I’m alright Doctor.” River responded, a wide smile on her face. “Of course I’m afraid. With my past, I don’t think I’ll ever not afraid. But I trust you, and I know that you love me. Right now, that’s enough.”

The Doctor searched River’s face, as if she could find the secret to making her wife understand the depths of her love there. River was her steady, even self again, and the Doctor knew that the only way to prove her devotion was the show her, day after day for the rest of their lives.

The Doctor sealed this conclusion with a firm kiss, pulling her wife’s face up to meet her own. River moaned as she arched up and into the Doctor, and felt her wife’s breath hitch as their bodies pressed together.

River wove her finger through the Doctor’s hair, pulling her head back gently to expose her neck so she could press kisses down to her shoulder.

“Good.” The Doctor breathed. “Because you’re not getting rid of me. It’s you and me now, River.”

River let go of the Doctor’s hair to quickly unclip her suspenders and pull her shirts up over the Doctor’s head. As soon as it was off, her hands were flitting over the Doctor’s stomach, waist and back, her mouth trailing the Doctor’s chest.

The Doctor pulled River up to meet her mouth, pressing into a deep kiss. Her hips rolled down into River, trying to get closer, and the Doctor had a fleeting thought that the seam of her pants might tear if she didn’t ease up.

“You and me, Sweetie.” River whispered against the Doctor’s lips, the vow as meaningful as the ones they had said on their wedding day.

The Doctor groaned as River’s tongue slipped back into the Doctor’s mouth, and the sound sparked a need in River that rose up like a flame.

River’s hands ran down to her wife’s waist, pushing her up before standing herself, never breaking their kiss as she pushed the Doctor against the table. She kicked behind her and her chair screeched backwards, then swept her arm behind the Doctor, pushing her plate across the table and causing her wine glass to fall to the floor, shattering.

The Doctor startled, turning away to look at the damage.

“Rive-”

“It doesn’t matter,” River muttered, puling the Doctor’s mouth back to her own. The Doctor was happy to leave it, wrapping her arms around River.

She was so completely overwhelmed with the sensation of River all around her that it took her by surprise when River’s hand pressed firmly between her legs through her pants, finally giving her the friction she didn’t even know she ached for and she moaned in surprise into River’s mouth.

River felt the Doctor’s moan vibrate through her body and she _needed_ to hear it again. She worked quickly on the Doctor’s pants and pushed both them and her knickers down hastily before picking the Doctor up by the thighs and pushing her onto the table.

The Doctor was glad that River seemed to have a plan because her brain was unable to function with River’s body pressed up this closely against hers. She was fairly certain that a troop of Sontarans could materialize in front of them and the only thought in her head would still be ‘River.’

The Doctor moved closer to the edge of the table, spreading her legs so River could press closer in. She didn’t realize River’s hands were what she wanted until one had slipped between her thighs and was stroking over her.

The Doctor broke the kiss as she gasped out a cry, bucking into River’s hands. Her body seemed to have a mind of its own when River was around.

River got the message and didn’t need to be asked twice, she knew exactly where she wanted to be. She pressed one more kiss the Doctor’s open mouth before sliding down to remove the Doctor’s pants and knickers the rest of the way and hooking her wife’s legs over her shoulders.

River could be a tease when she wanted to, but not now. Her body ached with need for the feel of her wife surrounding her, the taste of her pleasure on her lips.

She wrapped her arms around the Doctor and pulled her forward, to the very edge of the table as she dove in. The taste of her wife as she coated her tongue pulled a high moan from her lips that made the Doctor gasp and nearly fall back against the table. She reached an arm behind her to catch herself just in time.

They had been together several time in the last few days, but not like this. There was no exploration, no testing the waters. River’s mouth moved with a relentless passion that overwhelmed the Doctor’s senses.

Her body thrummed with energy and she shook with need. Her hand threaded through River’s hair as she tried to pull her impossibly closer.

River had a single-minded desire to feel her wife come apart around her, for both of their senses to be overwhelmed with only each other. She didn’t hold back, indulging in every whim and desire that crossed her mind as she sunk all her senses into the woman she loved.

The Doctor had never been worked up this high this fast. She felt the love and passion and need in her swell larger than her skin, and felt like it would explode out of her. She wanted to tell River all of this.

“River.” Was all she could manage to breathe out between strangled moans, and it became a litany.

“River, River, River.” She chanted it as a mantra, a focal point in the storm. Her body burned with the need for her wife and she felt tears slip from her closed eyes as she rode the razors edge of her orgasm.

The words fell to River’s ears like sweet offerings and she couldn’t help but slip her hands under her trousers to reach between her own thighs. She reveled in the taste, feel, smell and sounds of her wife as the Doctor saturated all of her senses.

The Doctor felt time stop as her body tensed, arching backward as pleasure she didn’t know was there washed over her in waves. She cried out and curled in as her body pulsed and shook, the cool pleasure slowly draining from her limbs, leaving her muscles relaxed and limp.

River tried to steady her harsh breathing as she heard the Doctor coming undone, focusing on the delicious wetness produced by her wife’s pleasure. She groaned as the Doctor’s hips jerked into her mouth, her own core pushing against her hand in response.

As the Doctor quieted and the hand in her hair relaxed, River lifted her head and nearly fell apart at the look on her wife’s face. The Doctor panted heavily, her mouth open in a small “o” and her eyes hooded with exhaustion. Her face was flushed and gleaming with sweat.

River reached up to grab he Doctor loosely by the waist, urging her off the table then easing her off her shaky legs to collapse onto the ground next to River. She quickly pulled her own shirt off, craving the feeling of her wife against her.

River’s hand buried into the doctor’s hair and pulled her into a deep kiss, pressing their bodies together as her hand made its way back between her thighs.

A deep groan in the back of River’s throat woke the Doctor up from her pleasure-sated haze enough to notice her wife’s fingers working furiously between her own thighs. The Doctor suddenly found herself with a bolt of renewed energy, pushing River’s hand aside to help River pull her pants off so she could slide her own fingers into her wife.

River moaned in approval and pressed her forehead to the soft curve of the Doctors’ neck, letting their bodies press together as he ground enthusiastically into her wife’s hand. The rhythmic warmth of River’s breaths against the Doctor’s skin left goosebumps in their wake.

The Doctor slid her free hand against River’s cheek, scooping her face up to press light kisses to her nose, her forehead, her closed eyes and her slightly parted lips. River clung to the Doctor, pressing them close as the Doctor’s fingers pushed her higher and higher.

“River.” The Doctor whispered, brushing her thumb over her wife’s cheekbone. River didn’t respond, too lost in sensation.

“River.” The Doctor repeated, this time more firmly. River’s eyes blinked open, her wide eyes gleaming with pure wanting, love and trust.

The Doctor looked into her wife’s eyes and tried to find the words to tell her how much she loved her, how painfully perfect it felt to have her in her arms, her heat pulsing around her, real and flesh and alive.

The Doctor searched her wife’s eyes, unable to find the words. River gazed back at her, knowing what she was thinking without a word.

“I know Doctor, I know.” River whispered. The Doctor continued to search her wife’s eyes for confirmation.

“You promise?” The Doctor asked.

“Yes.” River responded firmly. The Doctor pulled River into a kiss as she began to move faster within her. She ran her hand down River’s back, pressing her even closer.

River’s hot, ragged breaths dropped back to the Doctor’s shoulder, her hands grasping at the Doctor’s back.

“Yes, oh _Sweetie…_ Yes… Yes… _Yes_.” River cried breathlessly as she moved desperately against the Doctor, the word falling from her lips again and again like a prayer.

The Doctor never wanted this to be over, wanted to stay pressed against River Song hearing her moan for the rest of her life.

She couldn’t deny her wife, though, and began sliding her thumb over River’s sensitive nub. She was almost immediately rewarded by the fluttering feeling around her fingers.

River’s deep cries of pleasure echoed off the walls and reverberated through the Doctor, leaving no room for any though but _River_.

Eventually River stilled, collapsing against the Doctor.

They sat there for several minutes, leaning against one another for support and panting as they caught their breath. Finally, the Doctor shakily rose to her feet and reached out a hand to pull River up to her, steering them toward a conveniently placed couch and pulling them both down onto it, cradling River to her.

There was nothing that either of them had to say. Was nothing they could say that would have compared what they had just communicated to each other.

River pressed lazy, exhausted kisses to the Doctor shoulder, neck and jaw, before finally resting her head on her chest. The Doctor could tell when she fell asleep by her deep, even breathing.

The Doctor pushed the tangled, sweaty hair from River’s face and stroked the outline of her firm cheekbone. She marveled at soft vulnerability of her fierce and fearless wife, a beautiful paradox reserved just for her.

“Love is a promise, River.” The Doctor whispered to her sleeping wife. “It’s a promise I’ll work to keep every day, for the rest of my life.”

The only response she received was a gentle snort, and she smiled as she kissed her wife’s forehead, soon lulled to sleep by River’s warm and sturdy presence in her arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. If you did, check out my other Thirteen/River stories. 
> 
> I'm currently dreaming as the Doctor, I might be writing too much. :)


End file.
